Ravenous Destruction

The Little Blue TreeWinter put up a little tree up in her room and decorated with ornaments she stole off of other trees, mostly the one that’s out in the living room. The pirate one was designed by me and can be found in my Zazzle shop.


The Advent CalenderMy mother gave this to us last year. Winter nearly destroyed it by tearing stuff out and what not. This year was a much better year for the calender. I fixed it up and told Winter if she messes with it, it will be gone. It is still holding up well, except for this one thing I found on her little blue tree today.

Aurora Dragon | Luna Guitars
I Bought this little guitar today for Winter. It’s the most fabulous guitar I could find for her. She loves music and this is going to be her first real instrument. I love the super cute dragon picture and the phases of the moon on the fretboard. Luna Guitars makes such beautiful acoustic instruments.

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Winter is four. Her world is magic. These are the stories I tell her. They are weaved from my strange imagination, folklore and the things we encounter on our almost daily walks around town. This is the magical world we created for ourselves. These are the tales I tell. She believes every word of it. Of course it is mostly true because magic is everywhere.

The House of Books

I walk winter to school everyday. We walk by an abandoned stretch of land. In that place there is a hearth. It is very old and built of stone. Like many things it has it own story. A story crafted from my imagination.

There once was a married couple who loved to read books. They read them during breakfast and all though the day. At night they would fall asleep with books wide open and glasses still sitting on top their noses. They had so many books they knew not what to do with them. They took every inch of their house. So they decided to build a house with all their books. The walls, the bed, the table, all of it made from books. The only thing that was not made of books was the hearth made of stone that stood in the center of the house. They read so many books they had no time for children. When they died there was no one to inherit the house of books. So the house stood abandoned for many years. People would pass the house and sometimes take a book with them. They figured it’s just one book. No one will notice. No one will care. Soon every last book was taken and the house of books was no more. The only thing that was left was the hearth. The house still exists only in a different form. It can be found on many book shelves, used book stores and also in the local public library.

The Troll Bridge

When we go out for coffee and slushie and to visit the spooky graveyard we must cross the troll bridge. We have to be very quiet as not to wake the trolls. If they wake, they will demand a toll from us. The toll is $65 or so Winter says. Just in case though I make sure to have enough cash to cross the bride. Mama is cranky when she can’t get to the store to buy her 99 cent ice coffee. Of course if they catch us that coffee will cost $65.99.

Cannibal Ghosts Verses Pirates

An old feud that dates back many many years. Cannibal ghost really have it out for the pirates. They fight often and lose often. The pirates win because the Cannibal ghosts eat each other. They say it is best to fight them in the early evening once they have awoke and at their most hungry. The cannibal ghost most often take up their residence in the spooky graveyard amongst the 19th century tombstones.

Gnomes and Fairies
We have many gnomes that stop by the house. They like to play tricks on us. They take things and hide them. They also can fix the many things Winter breaks. They fix them with their special tools. She puts them on the Windowsill and they come back fixed. Sometimes. She also like to put food on the windowsill for them to take and eat. They don’t always take it though. Gnomes can be picky eaters.

The fairies also come to visit. They brings us special gifts like my shinny purple combat boots and little trinkets for Winter that she likes to break and lose. Both the gnomes and fairies offer us advice to guide us though our day.

Well there it is…The magical world according to me and my cute little monkey. We haven’t got a lot of money for entertainment. We have only our feet for walking and the our endless imagination.

It’s hard to say when my day started. Last night I put Winter to bed at around 9PM. I feel asleep lying next to her. I woke up at about 1AM. I wanted to sleep, but I woke up so I could wrap her birthday presents. Then I had a bite to eat and sent out and an email to everyone with some cute pictures of Winter and a little reminder about her party this weekend. At about 4AM. I was exhausted and need to sleep. That’s around the time Winter woke up. I managed to get her to lie down again and I fell asleep only to be woken up again as she tossed and turned still awake. Once the sun rose, there was no chance of her going back to sleep and so my day began, although in a way the previous day had not quite ended. I gave her a little something to eat and let her watch a movie in bed while I attempted to rest, falling asleep for a few minutes here and there. I eventually crawled out of bed and checked my email. I got an email from Sarah. She was confused, and rightly so, about the day in which Winter’s party was going to be. Apparently the myspace bulletins, the invitations and the most recent email I sent all had different dates and days listed. I’m an Artist and they call us flaky for a reason. All those brilliant creative ideas I have in my head must be jumbling up the day to day reason and logic that I need to keep my life running. Okay so now I’m exhausted, have a lot do today and I have to call every single person I invited and tell them when the party actually is. All I could think at the moment was fuck! it’s not even noon yet. Well I sent out another email with the correct date of the party. I knew I still need to call a bunch of people. I decided to put it off to the most inconvenient time of the day and made waffles instead.

I let Winter open her birthday presents. Today was her third birthday. I got her some crafty things to play with, Construction paper, markers, watercolors, glue sticks and a few other things. We did some arts and crafts, got dressed and headed to out to the ice cream shop for a nice little birthday treat. After that the day start to rapidly crash on a downward spiral that left me wondering why I even left the house today.

We went to the library and headed upstairs to the children’s room. There were little tables with little chairs. On these little tables were puzzles, coloring books and other fun stuff. She had no interest in them. Winter headed strait for the librarian’s desk instead. Well why not that were all the real fun stuff is. I keep having to pull her away from there. The librarian, by the way probably doesn’t like us to much, as my child is always the most unruly child during story time, when we go. An older child came in. She was about ten or eleven. Winter took great interest in her. She wanted to follow her everywhere. When she did find interest in the puzzles and games. She preceded to grab them off the tables and bring them over to the other section of the children’s library and sit at the table when that girl was quietly reading. I apologized to the girl and tried to bring the boxes of toys and puzzles back to where they belonged. As I returned one thing, she grabbed another. I managed to pick out seven books for Winter. I was ready to go. Winter however, was not. I tried to get her to go downstairs. She refused. I wanted to just grab her and run very fast out of there, but my hands were full with books and mittens. I ran half way down the stairs and put the books down on one of the steps. Meanwhile Winter was getting into all sorts of things that she shouldn’t have. As I got to the stairs another mother and her son was headed down the stairs. Winter of course wanted to follow them and I didn’t have to drag her kicking and screaming. Winter ran right past them and the mother stopped and patiently waited as I chased her down the steps. We got to the desk before them. I wanted so desperately to check out and leave, but I didn’t want to cut in front of the lady who was so nice and understanding on the steps so I waited for her to check out while I chased Winter around the downstairs part of the library. Finally I checked out and just before I left I signed Winter up for a special storytelling event going on in a few weeks. I don’t know why I signed up for another grueling adventure at the library. It must some sort of self torment that mother inflict on themselves because they think It would a fun leaning experience for their little one. I doubt it will be much fun for me, and I know when the day we come back the children’s librarian will just as excited to see as she was today.

As we left the library Winter kept saying Pizza, Pizza, Pizza! I though to my self it’s her birthday, why not head over to the grocery store to buy and extremely overpriced frozen pizza that she probably won’t eat anyways. We walked over to the store. The seven extra heavy oversized books in my bag where starting to really hurt my back. As we made our way over there Winter insisted on jumping in every puddle and picking up snow off of every snow bank. It made the walk even longer and more painful.

We got the store. Winter was running everywhere picking up stuff. I got the pizza, some pita chips, a bunch of white grapes and a yellow bell pepper that I would eventually to forget to cut up and put on the pizza. We left the store with me carrying two shopping bags and seven oversize books. Shortly after we left Winter insisted on being carried. She must think I have more them two arms. I did make a few attempts to carry her, but I could only walk so far before I felt as though I would collapse. This made the walk home much longer then it needed to be.

Finally home again. I made pizza fro my very cranky, very over tired toddler and then we ate. I then preceded to call everyone who I invited to her party and tell the party is on Sunday. Some people I spoke to thought it was on Saturday, others thought is was on Sunday, most though did not answer their phone. Meanwhile Winter went on a rampage and destroyed the living room. She flipped over furniture and a very large lamp. Emptied an entire toy box, and made sure every thing was thrown about. I remained calm, because at this point I didn’t really care. I did manage to calm her down. As I was cleaning Dan stopped by on his way to band practice to visit Winter. After he left, I finished the dishes, the cleaning and had only one more thing to do. I had to take out the trash.

As soon as I went outside, she started to freak out. I ran around the porch a slid down three icy step landing on my ass right in front of the trash hut under the porch. I went to open the gate it and it was stuck on the ice. I kept pulling and pulling. I could hear winter in the window above screaming. I gave a really good yank and the wood around the hinge broke, but it still wouldn’t open, except for a small crack. I tried to cram it all in. The bag broke. Trash was falling everywhere, Winter was still screaming. I dropped the bag and thought. I do not want to clean this up. The gate was still jammed, Winter was freaking out, I didn’t have time for this. Then I though will maybe I can make it look like an accident. Shove the bag half way in and it would look like the animals broke the gate and got to it. I decided against staging it to look like I had nothing to do with it. I knocked on my neighbors door, and with the exhausted look and frazzled tone of a mother on the edge explained what happened and asked to her to watch Winter while I tried to fix the situation. She did and I went back to pick up slippery avocado pits and slimy banana peal off the icy ground in the pitch black night. There was a lot of nasty things I had to pick up, I couldn’t see what they were, but maybe that was a good thing. I had to chop at the ice with a shovel for quite some time and the door still wouldn’t open. I manged to shove it all in there and I think most of it landed in the barrel.

I got back, I felt so nasty after I jumped right in the shower. Of course I had to bring Winter too, or listen to her freak out if I didn’t. We took a shower, I pulled out the futon bed and we read the Cat and the Hat and then she quickly fell asleep.

Happy Birthday Winter! I love you more then anything and I do this all this for you, It’s exhausting, but it’s worth every minute. Except for the trash thing, that had nothing to do with you. Let’s sleep late tomorrow.

I came across this Vintage book illustration on a nice little web site called Karen’s Whimsy. It’s old, very old, although I don’t know the date in which it was published or the book in which it was from. This is how the original looks. I thought the little fairy looked just like Winter. It really was the perfect mother daughter portrait, drawn strangely enough, long before either of us ever existed. I spent months editing it. I took out the gray that loomed behind the lines of the drawing. I changed the flowing hair, the dress and made a few other changes. Then I added the color. This took quite some time as I could not make up my mind about the colors I wanted. I knew the long wavy hair had to be many shades of violet, like my own sometimes is, and I just took it from there. I wanted it to be a Winter scene for Winter of course. The background was already black and I left it as is, as a representation of me, as my name means night. I think this is the perfect picture of us, of course it’s not really us…or is it.

Winter is saying two words at a time now. I made some pasta and vegan meatballs tonight. She seemed to like it so I gave her a little more. She said “tank you” in her cute little voice, then she had another bite and said “mmmm…It’s good” So cute. She is finally starting to talk more. My little baby is turning into a little girl.

On Mother’s Day I nursed Winter for the very last time. It really is a bittersweet milestone. When I had her I decided I was only going to nurse her for a few months. Then a few months turned in to year. Before I knew it another year went by. I ended up nursing her for 27 months. That’s about two years longer then I expected. My little baby is now two. It is all going by so fast. Where did the time go?

I got an article I wrote published on Punkymoms

A Day in the Life of a Domestic Goddess
Written by Layla

The following events take place on Tuesday January 2nd 2007

9:30 AM
I woke to the sound of the garbage truck and quickly realize that I forget to clean out the fridge. Last weeks leftovers won’t be making it to this week’s trash. I jump out of bed and look out the window hoping it’s the recycling truck and not the trash truck. The trash is gone and the recycling is still there, however it’s not where I left it. It’s scattered all over the street and on two different lawns. There are gift boxes and junk mail everywhere. I put Winter in her crib, a place she seldom visits, and she starts screaming as I run outside. I can hear her wailing as I pick up the gift boxes and junk mail that are strewn about. I try my best to put everything back in the torn bag but the wind keeps blowing everything away. I manage to get it a nice pile against the telephone pole and run back inside.

I nurse Winter for a bit and she calms down. I then put her in her high chair and try my best to feed her breakfast. She’s a bit reluctant and would rather jump off her chair then eat breakfast. Breakfast ends in tears. Once I calmed her down I do some dishes. Then I nurse her for a bit while I go online. She falls asleep.

About 11:00
I Look outside. The recycling still hadn’t been picked up, the wind however has, and I have great concern for my delicate pile of junk mail and gift boxes that were resting against a telephone pole. I try not to think about it. I decided to take advantage of naptime time by cleaning the bathroom. I buckle a sleeping Winter into her car seat and begin battle with the mildew on the shower curtain. I was in the midst of suffering a great defeat when I had the brilliant idea of throwing the shower curtain in the wash. For reasons I will never really understand I decided to do the same to the outside curtain too. In hindsight I realize this was a horrible decision. Upon retrieval from the washing machine I notice that nice new shower curtain, the one I love so much. The one that matches the rug and various bathroom nick knacks now looks like a faded wrinkled old sheet. I know this should bother me as much as it does, but it does. The inside curtain however was now free of mildew. The battle was won.

Around Noon
Recycling still hasn’t been picked up. I call the company responsible for collecting it and they tell me it’s a different driver today who may be doing a different route. The woman on the phone assures me that at some point today the recycling will be picked up. Winter is still asleep. I decide to clean the kitchen and mop the floor. The fact that she is still asleep and I can accomplish this makes me happy. The fact that I’m happy about being able to clean also makes me a bit sad. My main concern is that if she wakes up she will start crying and I’ll be standing in the middle of a disassembled kitchen covered in cleaning chemicals. I hate picking her up when I’m this toxic. I know she will wake up and start crying before I finishes so I devise a plan to prevent this calamity. I move her in front of the TV and put on a movie. Hoping when she wakes up she would be distracted by the television.

I clean the kitchen and mop the floor just as I was finishing I went to put the kitchen rug in the wash and I noticed she was awake and watching the movie.

2:00
I look out my window and see a stray gift box lying in the street and some junk mail floating in the breeze. I tell myself I’m going to go outside and grab them just as soon as I get a chance. I completely forget about it and take a shower. Everyday my goal is to have a nice relaxing shower. However not every goal is attainable. I rush though my shower, hoping that the hot water doesn’t run out and that my baby doesn’t have some sort of melt down. Most times I take her in the bathroom with me while I shower and she tends to get a bit bored. Before I could rinse my hair the water started running cold, but Winter remained calm.

As I’m getting dressed I try on five different shirts. They all make me look fat. In a moment of self pity I hear the recycling truck. I remember that there are some things still scattered about that I forgot all about. I’d love to run down and grab them before the truck gets to my house but being as I’m now half dressed it is no longer an option. Then the landlord knocks at the door I quickly finished getting dressed and grab the rent money and give it to him.

About 3:00
I put Winter in her highchair and attempt lunch. It doesn’t go well. Winter hates mangos. Afterwards she plays in her room while I sit in the rocking chair trying to inflate a giant rubber ducky. It’s her new bath tub. It’s big, yellow and goes quack when you squeeze it’s big orange bill. Winter keeps playing with it as I blow it up one small breath at a time.

Soon it’s bath time. Winter splashes around in her new tub while I take cute pictures. Soon she tries standing up in her new tub and bath time is over. For about 15 minutes I chase a naked, giggling baby around the apartment until she finally has all her clothes on.

4:30
Dan comes home for work. I nurse Winter and she falls asleep. I have a bowl of soup. It’s the first thing I’ve eaten all day. Dan is in the bedroom playing Zelda. Winter is taking a nap and I finally have some free time. Then it occurs to me that it a bit late for Winter to be napping, but I can’t bring myself to wake her up. I decide I need to go to the store and get some food. I ask to borrow Dan’s truck and I beg him to watch the baby while I run to the supermarket.

6:30
I gather up the baby, put her in her car seat and we head to the store in Dan’s truck. When we arrive at the store I pull Winter’s car seat carrier out of the truck. While I’m doing this I knock it into a case of Guinness and a beer flies out, bursts open and sprays everywhere. Nice. Now we are covered in beer. I’m livid, I call Dan so I can bitch and complain. He doesn’t answer. He is playing Zelda. Now I used to work at this store. As I walk through the doors I’m hoping not to see anyone I know and if I do I’m hoping they don’t smell that can of beer that was just splashed all over me.

As I wander the isles Winter is looking cute and babbling up a storm. At one point she starts to get fussy. I hand her a can of frosting to play with. It calms her down. Five minutes later she throws it on the ground. The plastic lid shatters. I quietly pick it, put on the shelf and walk away.

Around 8:00
I get home. Dan’s still playing Zelda. I’m so hungry I start eating before I unload all the groceries. Winter sits on the floor and is taking things out the bags and tearing them open. Afterwards I feed her dinner. I give her one of her favorites, sweet potatoes. She finishes up and my vegetarian buffalo wings are ready to come out of the oven. Winter plays on the floor with an oven mitt while I continue to eat. I try my new ranch dressing and realize I like it about as much as Winter likes mangos.

Around 9:00
I throw some laundry in the washing machine. Then I get my daughter dressed in her pajamas and we play on the floor in her room. Later I read her a few fur covered book about shapes and lions. Then I take her in the bedroom lie down and nurse her, I want her to fall asleep but she keeps wiggling around and popping up to watch Zelda, I take her in her room, turn out the lights, rock and nurse her till she falls asleep.

11:00
Dan and Winter are both asleep. I throw the laundry in the dryer and then wash some dishes.

12AM
Winter wakes up I nurse her back to sleep

1:00
She wake up again, I nurse her but she doesn’t go back to sleep. I strap her to my chest and carry her around with me hoping she falls back to sleep.

Eventually she does go to sleep and at some point I will too.
Tomorrow I will be doing this exact same thing all over again.

So I’m walking down the street with a basket of laundry and I see a line of people waiting to buy tickets to a show. [Emperor I think] So I get in line because hey I wanna go to. Then I realize I’ve already got a ticket so why am I waiting in line. The line is for people without tickets. Next thing I know I’m standing outside the venue and there is my friend Sarah smoking a cigarette. So I go hang out with her a bit. I have tickets for tomorrow nights show not tonights but I figure since there’s always people hanging outside smoking I’ll just hangout with everyone for a bit. I take the clothes to the laundromat and just leave them there, I don’t even put them in the washing machine. I head back to the venue and hangout with some friends for a bit. A while later I head back to the laundromat only when I get there I realize that it’s not a laundromat it’s a bar and my laundry basket is empty someone has stolen the clothes. Then I look up and see this couple sitting at a table with some of my laundry, All Winter’s little clothes. I begin to fold the clothes while screaming at them for stealing my laundry. I say to them What kind of person steals laundry. And out of nowhere the guy is holding up my daughter and says What kind of person leaves a baby in a bar.
I was horrified I didn’t know my baby was in the laundry basket when I left it there. I start bargaining with the people I tell them to keep the laundry I just want my baby back. And then it’s over and I’m awake and I feel like the worst mother ever.